07.02.2016 Relationships

Love's Mirror

Love is what allows us to see ourselves in others - and delight in what we see. Miranda Munro shares her thoughts

"I find love much like a mirror. When I love another, he becomes my mirror and I become his, and reflecting in each other's love we see infinity." - Student of Leo Buscaglia

The small fire lit the inside of the tipi with a soft golden glow, shadows that danced on the walls formed shapes, which in a flicker would fade. The old couple sat side by side, a hide about their shoulders, warming their bodies, gazing into the fire as they had done so many times before. The old man turned to the woman placing his forehead on hers, tears streaked his weathered face. The woman knew in her heart what was to come. Gently he spoke, pulling his words through careful thought. The old woman stiffened at the sound of her husband’s voice. Her eyes welled with the tears of grief and she softened into his arms.

He told her it was time for his departure, time to join the ancestors; he would be gone by dawn. As he tenderly stroked his wife's hair he continued. They must walk forward into the future along different roads until the day they could be warmed once again by the fire of their love.

His love for her was pure and he needed her to understand but her grief over his words was all pervading, she was consumed. He wished it was not this way, he knew his passing would become her burden.

The old man squeezed his wife’s hand and pulled her close to his chest so she could hear the faint beat of his heart. Gently he cupped her damp face in his leathery hands and fell deeply into the pools of her eyes; he breathed in her pain as if to alleviate her of its burden and whispered “I give to you the key to my heart, for it belongs to you. I carry you in my soul the vision of which is my guiding light. My wife I shall come for you, I promise. Be waiting.”

For many seasons the couple had warmed themselves by the home fire. The woman lost her thoughts to the flicker of the flames and quietly swept a tear from her cheek as she realised; it had been within the golden glow of the fire that she had first lain with her young husband and the passion of their ardour had melted their hearts and consummated their love. She had birthed their four children beside its comfort, cooked upon its heat for the health of her family, and now as they lay in each other’s arms next to the fire’s hearth, it would be where she would lose her soulmate to the earthly ravages of time.

They were closer than most and everybody coveted their love, the depth of which was their strength. Their connection extended beyond the physical plane, they were two who worked as one.

As the old man sat silently in the sanctity of the moment, he thought about his life. He believed he had lived with integrity and honour and hoped he would be remembered with love. He was ready to journey on and join his ancestors, to take the next step. His body was old and tired and ached in the cold; tonight it seemed even the fire could not warm his bones. The old woman felt his pain and drew closer. Enfolding him in her arms she answered, “I will remember and I shall be waiting my husband.”

As these last words were spoken he kissed his wife's tears and as she looked into his eyes, heavy with grief, she saw the truth. Silently, they lay together complete in their love, grasping the final moments of their time together. The sadness of their fate was a weight that hung in the air; waiting, but that night the old couple ignored it and entwined, the two as one, for the last time, slept…..

If this story touched you it is because it illustrates the type of connection with another that we all crave.

When love flows unobstructed, you immediately transcend the bounds of time and space, which are replaced by electric warmth that wraps itself around you, through you and extends from you. A cocoon of light so tender so encompassing, within which you feel so completely safe that, at once, you are transported “home”.

“Love is touching souls” - Joni Mitchell

Unfortunately, it never seems that simple for most of us and the true depth of love appears to elude our grasp and is cynically relegated to the realm of fiction. This begs the question why?

Once again the undercurrents of our beliefs shape our outcomes. No matter how your good intention is, if you have a lurking belief that would impact your relationship, it is a given that it will seep through the cracks and create problems.

“Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.” - A Course in Miracles

When we gain a better understanding of ourselves we are better equipped to understand others and therefore accept them and love them. Relationships can be our greatest teachers. Through them we have the opportunity to see ourselves, both the good and the bad. Relationships provide the mirror.

Relationships can be our greatest teachers.

If you experience difficulties in your relationships and find patterns repeating themselves, it is an indication that there is an underlying blockage. Relationships are a great way to reveal your lessons, to bring up what needs to be healed. Too often we just blame the other person and move on to the next relationship and never take the time to look within.With courage and honesty, you can address any underlying false beliefs, release them and move forward armed with a good measure of self love and understanding.

Throughout our life we subconsciously absorb both positive and negative experiences and are, in fact, affected from as early as in the womb. As children, we had little choice but to absorb our world subjectively. We were not all lucky to have the perfect childhood and those of us with unresolved issues from then, or any other time in life when we experienced difficulties on an emotional level, will find the same feelings or situations will continually surface in our life until they are resolved. Sometimes, that is a simple as seeing the pattern and realising with your adult mind that the response or feeling is totally irrelevant to your life now. Other times it takes a “crash” to face it.

Like a magnet we attract the one that can reflect our learning back to us.

If we have insecurities about ourselves they will be reflected back to us in the mirror of our relationship. There are many scenarios but the dynamics are the same, and the results will be the same until we understand what is subconsciously controlling our lives. Clear up the self doubts and lack of self esteem or lack of self love and you will be in a better position to attract a real and lasting love, one that will be based on respect and free from past pain and future fear.

As we take responsibility and work through our patterns, changing our inner dynamics, we allow a space for relationships to change. This is more likely if it is based on more of a deeper connection than subconscious mirroring. Or it will simply fall away and you will be able to attract a more positive and rewarding relationship.

Letting go of our ‘baggage’ through understanding it for what it is and realising that it is no longer relevant, we can make peace with our past, begin to live in the present and become more conscious and loving beings. This is where the saying, ‘You have to love yourself first to love another’, arises. When you can truly feel good about who you are and understand that love for yourself is acceptable, you will see love is not needy, nor greedy, nor lonely, but rather just as Alexander Smith so eloquently put it, "Love is but the discovery of ourselves in others, and the delight in the recognition."

Once you have addressed any ‘unclaimed baggage’ you will be on the way to a more fulfilled life, one that has space for love.

"Love is but the discovery of ourselves in others, and the delight in the recognition." - Alexander Smith

There is no need to become bogged down with the ‘whys and how comes’ of why we hold onto and reproduce our ill gotten patterns and emotions. Simply be brave enough to acknowledge you are responsible for repeating them, then decide in your heart that you do not want to carry the burden anymore. Then the next step is to simply let go!

There are many modalities available to assist us in the letting go process. Kinesiology, NLP, Sound Therapy and hypnosis are just a few. Find one that resonates with you and when you are ready let go and let love.

Love is energy, a vibration that can only exist when there is a space for it. If we are filled with fear, dread, resentment or, in fact, anything that is the antithesis of love, then love cannot exist. As we understand that everything is vibration, we can begin to understand that we can only attract to us the vibration that we create. This is the perfect reason to work on clearing our energetic patterning.

Once we become more consciously aware, we begin to see that love is a sense of connection, a feeling of recognition. Love is what allows us to see ourselves in others, to experience compassion, humanity and a sense of belonging. Love is our connection to source. Metaphysical and spiritual teachings have expressed that love is the essence of divinity, love is our light.

In fact, love can be found anytime we open to it, love is forever present for it is the glue that binds us all together. Love is the stirring of the heart, the whisper of the soul and the connection to spirit.

Miranda Munro

Miranda Munro is a sound healer based in Toodyay Western Australia - kyela.com.au