Astrology Q&A - September 2009

Daniel Sowelu

Q. This Big Three transit (Jupiter conjunct Chiron conjunct Neptune) you've been writing about the last few months has been throwing me all over the place. Talk about turbulence! My emotions have been on a rollercoaster, feeling sick, anxious and very, very vulnerable at times, lots of old memories popping up with strangely familiar feelings attached to them and then having these beautiful clear patches where it feels like all is well with the world. I start to wonder if I'm having some kind of enlightenment experience, then down I go again, into the pits. It would be funny if it didn't feel so shocking.

A. At least the process seems to be working as it should for you, but as for your husband there's a number of possibilities. Firstly, everyone responds differently to these processes, depending on their individuality, their degree of sensitivity, their karma and how their charts are constructed, the last a measure of all the above. Without seeing either your chart or his, its clear that the Big Three is probably hitting a number of planets, points and/or asteroids in your chart simultaneously or it's doubling up on another already big transit like the Chiron Return, Neptune square Neptune etc. Whatever the case, the Big Three is bouncing around most or all of your whole system, hence the radical shifts and changes.

It may not be hitting much in your husband's chart at all. And if so, it may not be his time, which can be a good thing - one half of a partnership is relatively stable enough to support the other.

I'm reluctant to enter this part of the conversation but it has to be acknowledged that men respond differently to some transits, partly to do with natural biological and psychological gender differences and partly because of the desensitising nature of earlier generations' approaches to the raising, education and general enculturalisation of boys. I do believe that these big collective processes do affect everyone, but it's the degree of conscious recognition that varies. Many men feel this process deeply and in ways that are quite shattering of old egos. But there are also many men who won't appear to have "symptoms" of them, either because it's not a big time for them, or they've had their emotional and psychic sensitivity too battered or anaesthetised during their early years. Unfortunately, these are the ones who will have trouble down the track.

What also tends to happen for these men is that what's not being felt within gets enacted out there in their worlds, in the form of job losses, financial troubles, relationship difficulties. There are obviously many ways that the world will attempt to wake a man up, but it is equally obvious that it can be all too easy to blame the world as well, rather than see their troubles as a reflection of what needs attending within.

Another variation of this has to do with projection and counter projection. In the subtle psychodrama of every relationship, one member of a partnership will often carry and play out the role of the emotional one - vulnerable, wounded, mystical, unstable - while the other partner will enact the solid one - the provider, supportive, stabilising, classically the bloke. (Please excuse the dreadfully simplistic generalisation, but you get my drift) You see a variation of this in alternative healing modalities, the women are going for it while the men act out the anchor, for good or for worse.

What may be happening in your relationship and something that is consistent in the unconscious operations of Chiron as well, is that you are carrying both the wounded one and the one responsible for healing both of you. Chances are this process is going on in your husband, but you are carrying it for him. This would explain the extreme differences in the response patterns between you and could suggest that you are dealing with far more than your own stuff here.

People with strong Chirons appear to be born with a tendency to take on others' pain and woundedness, like a psychic sponge, a tendency that comes with some deep subconscious feelings of guilt and an exaggerated sense of responsibility to heal, fix or at least reduce the amount of pain that their loved ones' feel. While this stems from some very old karma to do with parents and family, if unhealed it gets carried over into our adult relationships and sometimes into one's profession.

If there's any truth to this, then one of the big things that the Big Three is trying to do is to wake you up to this pattern, so that you can start to consciously shift it around. In doing so, you would release yourself of the additional psychic burden and hand back to your husband responsibility for his own healing. This involves getting more conscious of the way this old system plays out in yourself, while progressively putting in healthier psychic boundaries in the relationship.

What you will probably find is as you release the old hooks in yourself, your husband will come to the party of his own accord. A lot of women fall into the trap of trying to push, blackmail or manipulate their reluctant men into the healing journey, but most of the time it's counterproductive.

With the collective climate like this, it wouldn't take much for things to start happening in your man, particularly as you withdraw from the projections. Be firm but gentle there, as my feeling about him is that he is exquisitely sensitive and excruciatingly wounded underneath his blokey facade. His healing will take some time. All power to you both.

Daniel Sowelu (BSc Dip Ed) is a therapeutic astrologer, primal therapist and groupleader in his 22nd year of private practice. He is very welcoming of questions of a general nature for the Question and Answers section on this website, so please send to editorial@novamagazine.com.au For any other general inquiries to Daniel go to www.sacredlawfirm.com.au