But even in these moments, deep in our heart we still know that it is possible to achieve, feel, create, and experience what we desire most in life. Deep down we know that the love inside of us is strong enough to break through every internal wound and external barrier to make possible what we feel to be our destiny and our birthright.
Thankfully, each day we have an opportunity to act, speak and choose from a place of love, rather than from a consciousness of fear. Today, like every day, is a fork in the road challenging us to face our fears and to overcome the excuses we constantly use to make ourselves victims or to keep us trapped in self pity.
In reality, no one is a victim and we are all far more capable than we realise. We only perceive ourselves to be helpless or victimised at times because we allow our fears and guilt to control us, which always results in self-created hurt, shame, anger, and sadness. But once we finally accept that being sick, miserable, or broke is not an effective way to 'get' what we want, need and dream of, we are empowered to consciously create these things without expecting anything or anyone outside of us to do so for us.
The sooner we accept that unconditional love, financial freedom, recognition, emotional support, and vital physical health will never come through blaming others or through a 'poor me' approach to life, the sooner we can transform our frustration, anxiety and depression into happiness and peace.
We cannot feel sorry for ourselves and also respect ourselves at the same time. But we can learn to be kind to ourselves and to value our true feelings, needs and desires in every moment and situation. We can start to love and care for ourselves physically and emotionally each day, and thus rebuild our belief and trust in ourselves again - after years of self betrayal, self neglect, and self abandonment.
'As soon as you trust yourself, you will know how to live.'
-Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
I'm sure you would agree that life would be significantly easier if we had learned that there is a fundamental perfection to life that permeates all of nature and the entire Universe. We would all be able to accept ourselves, our lives, and our past unconditionally - and thus be completely at peace - if we truly knew that everything is always as it is meant to be, even if we do not fully understand it or like it.
I have found that if we cannot see and feel this perfection unfolding within our lives right now, it's only because we have not healed and therefore understood the emotional pain that still lives beneath our fear-based denial of what is. Our internalised emotions from the past are the only real obstacles blocking the unshakeable faith and trust that's already alive within each of us.
Most of us have merely forgotten the fact that we ourselves have created our lives in order to bring the love that we are fully into this world. We've also forgotten that one hundred percent of our unhappiness, anxiety, and sickness stem from all of the times in the past where we have not related to ourselves with the love, kindness, and respect we deserve.
From this perspective, any struggle that is present in our lives right now is in fact the exact obstacle we need to face in order to heal and move forward in fulfilling our life's purpose. The lessons around loving ourselves unconditionally that we are here to master are present within the aspects of ourselves and our lives that we're currently not at peace, happy, or satisfied with. Once we accept that everything is always exactly as it is meant to be, we can allow ourselves to trust that we're exactly where we need to be, doing exactly what we need to be doing, in order to master the lessons necessary to live a fulfilling, healthy, and prosperous life.
Most of us were never taught that our lives are embraced by a larger, universal story that is (1) much bigger than our individual lives and (2) always unfolding both within us and all around us. But once we expand our perception on life to include the Universe's ever-present perfection, we can finally open to trusting life wholeheartedly just as it is without constantly projecting fear, anxiety, negativity, and regret onto each moment and situation.
It is so liberating to know that everything that occurs in our lives occurs exactly when it's supposed to, without any exceptions. Everything that has ever occurred and everything that will ever occur is a part of a larger natural order that we must learn to accept and cooperate with if we genuinely want to find lasting inner peace, health and happiness.
In the same way that the seed of a rose bush sprouts roots, grows upward from the ground, and eventually flowers in its own perfect time, our own destiny, healing, and liberation unfold exactly as and when we're ready. A butterfly cannot break free from its cocoon until it's strong enough to see the whole process through, just as a human baby generally takes nine months to gestate before its body, organs, and entire being is ready for its new life in the outer world. In other words, we can never force an organic process and truly achieve a positive, harmonious outcome, because all life naturally contains an inner intelligence that knows exactly when it's time to take the next evolutionary step.
It is also very empowering to know that the primary reason why so many of us do not have faith in ourselves, in our life's purpose, in life itself, in the Universe, and in God right now is because we subconsciously recognise that in the past we have not related to ourselves from a place of unconditional love, kindness, and compassion. We know that in the past we have hurt ourselves by compromising ourselves, by abandoning ourselves, by not valuing ourselves, by judging ourselves, by disrespecting ourselves, by not believing in ourselves, by not sticking up for ourselves, and by not honoring and expressing our deepest inner truths.
Quite simply, most of us do not trust ourselves, because we continuously betray ourselves in exchange for the conditional love, acceptance, approval, and support of other people. Our lack of faith in Life, the Universe and God says much more about our own fears and habits of pleasing others than it does about what we're capable of or about any external economic or environmental reality. We only doubt that life will take care of us because we doubt that we can take care of ourselves.
If your own best friend or your intimate partner continuously betrayed you, would you find it very difficult to trust them again? Of course you would, because you and I were intended to be our own best friends. But when we disrespectfully hurt ourselves in the ways that we do, we make it quite difficult for us to trust ourselves. Thus the only way to reignite our faith and trust in ourselves, in our life's purpose, in life itself, in the Universe, and in God is to forgive ourselves for this past self abuse and then commit to loving ourselves in every moment, situation, and relationship - starting now.
Our soul is crying out for us to value ourselves enough to heal the pain we've created for ourselves in the past and to master rebuilding our lives from a place of fearless love for ourselves in the present. The evolutionary force of the Universe is calling out for us to recognise that our negative outlook on life is merely a projection of our own disappointment with ourselves - a dynamic that can be changed quickly when we open our heart and mind to a new approach.
We are all born with an inherent faith that cannot be broken or taken away. It's like a seed of confidence within us that is just waiting to blossom and fill our being and our life. Once we stop compromising ourselves for other people's love, acceptance, approval, and support, our trust in ourselves naturally strengthens, which results in choices that are true to our heart's passion and joy, rather than our mind's fear and limiting beliefs.
As we stop giving our personal power away to other people, or to external circumstances, we can finally place our faith and trust in ourselves again. And by being true to ourselves in every situation and relationship without allowing our fears to hold us back, we can transform our self pity into the courage, self respect, and strength needed to persist in facing life's inherent challenges without breaking down, giving up or losing hope.
Not only does Life want us to be healthy and happy, but also it makes sure we have access to everything we need to achieve this high level of well being. All that is asked of us is that we find the courage to value and respect ourselves enough to (1) compassionately be there for ourselves, day in and day out, and (2) not allow ourselves to settle for anything less than we are capable of.
As we give ourselves this love that we desperately need to blossom and thrive, the certainty we've been seeking surfaces from within us and fills every cell in our body. Our heart then opens to the present moment and we discover that we are not alone, even if sadness or loneliness are present, and we can tell that everything is going to be ok. This is also when we remember that not only is there a higher purpose to our suffering, but also that everything is, always has been, and always will be perfect just the way it is - including ourselves.
Blake D. Bauer is the bestselling author of You Were Not Born To Suffer. He will be hosting a weekend retreat in Perth in November 2014. You can learn more about Blake and his work at: www.unconditional-selflove.com
Blake D Bauer is the author of You Were Not Born to Suffer